Fastest 5 months of my life....

Since January life has flown by! Now it's the last day in May and I can't believe it. In 11 days Zoe will be 8 months old, Daniel will be 28 months old, and I'll be 26.5 years old. Plus it will be one month and 3 days until Michael turns 31! I'm in a state of shock. But then again my life feels back on track. Each day is a little better than the last. I'm feeling satan being pushed back and I know he won't be happy about it and he'll launch a full frontal attack again....he's already trying. The good news is : we have lots of folks praying for us and for strength to battle him back. If we're surrounded by God's Love and the Army of God, satan cannot get into our lives again.

Check out our family blog for some new pictures of the kids and the family! Tomorrow I'll blog a little about my experience today (I'm doing clinicals at James L. West now) and how it affects me.

A touch of Normalcy....

For the last several months my life has felt strange. Maybe it was starting back to School, maybe it was something else....who knows. All I know is, I have not felt like myself. And it has affected my life. Tonight, for the first time in ages I have felt right. I have felt like my life is spinning back onto its track. I'm optimistic again! I'm motivated again! I feel beautiful tonight. Not sure why, because I'm not even wearing make up! But Michael looked at me with a look I haven't seen in awhile, and my heart melted. Last night helped a lot too. We've resumed praying together before going to sleep. We pray and it seems like God was just waiting for us to simply ask. Once we asked, we received. He has already Blessed me immeasurably since this weekend. Unbelievable. I feel oddly at peace today. My heart isn't racing, my mind is not going crazy......I feel good today.

We grilled out tonight. It was great fun. Daniel played in the pool with Gege while Mimi, Bebe, Memaw, Daddy, Mommy, and Uncle Rodney watched on. Oh and Zoe didn't care for the cold water AT ALL!! She looked awfully cute in her little swimsuit and mohawk (like Daddy's). She loves being the center of attention.....and she's worth every minute of it. Daniel wanted her in the water with him so badly, and was sad when she cried. But he didn't let it get him down. Our digital camera was full so once my mom emails me the pics I'll post some. There have never been cuter children EVER....

All of this came together to make tonight a great night. And with the one exception this has been an incredible Anniversary weekend. satan may be fighting but I'm fighting back and that you-kinow-what isn't going to win!!

Thank you for the continued prayers....we sure can use them!

Please pray for me

Satan is in my life. Please pray that he leaves. Please.

Happy Anniversary

Happy 5 years, it seems like so much less!!!! I can't believe how unbelievable we are together. We are so in tune with one another it's uncanny. I miss him when I'm not with him, and I love him more than anything. I watch him with our kiddos and I'm amazed at the way he is with them.

Yesterday was our 5th year Anniversary. We went to the Rangers Game (they WON!!) last night as a present from Kay. It was awesome! It was fun to watch them win. Tonight we went to our Anniversary spot : Texas de Brazil. I'm stuffed. Just call me a jumbo shrimp! :)

Enough witty banter from me for one day. I had two Batidas at Texas de Brazil and my head feels a little light :)

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life.....

Buckleys

The 6th Annual Betty Lynn Buckley awards were held Monday night at Casa Manana. Michael and his kids were nominated for a School record NINE awards for "Children of Eden," including two nominations for Best Actor, a nomination for Best Actress, and a nomination for Best Musical. The evening started out with a bang....first award of the night was a Technical award : set design. Boom, Oakridge takes it! And so the night went, Oakridge cleaned up on the technical awards they were nominated for. Their performance of "Let There Be," the opening song of the show was amazing. They were dead on. It looked beautiful. They sounded amazing. It couldn't have gone better. The other shows were just silly in comparison. In fact, I only enjoyed one other performance and that was from "Big River" at North Crowley. The one we were all waiting for : Best Musical. And it was a tie!! Can you believe it? "Children of Eden" and "Big River!" The kids were thrilled, the parents were thrilled, we were thrilled, the administration present were thrilled. It was a great night!! I'm trying to locate the pictures of the event and when I do, I'll add them.

I have never been so proud of Michael. He did an amazing thing with those kids. He taught them things, he showed them things, he led them to experiences they may never have again. He wasn't here more than he was here. He was exhausted for months on end. He worked his tail off for no extra money. He and his kids had an amazing show, and the nominations echoed that. The win for Best Musical was bittersweet because it was shared. But, it's still a win. And for me, the times I spent missing him deeply, and wishing he was here and not up at School were almost worth it when that win was announced. I say almost, because no wife wants her husband gone so much, spending so much time with people who aren't their family. But the looks on those kids' faces when they all won was priceless, and it made me feel so proud. Congratulations, honey! I love you and we're all so proud of you and your accomplishments!!

Mom's Day(s)

Sunday was my third Mother's Day....it was fabulous. We had lunch at Memaw's with my Mom & Toby. Daniel played with their dog, Jipsy...he's still talking about it today! I received the most wonderful present from Michael....a new ring. It's kind of a long story, but since having 2 kids in as many years, my fingers have not been quite the way they used to be. My wedding day I was the thinnest I have ever been (or likely ever will be) and my wedding band is now a half size too small. After getting it stuck on my finger and having the threat of it being cut off I have not been able to get it back on. This is depressing to me. Michael knew this. So, to celebrate Mother's Day and our Anniversary (which is May 26th) he bought me this gorgeous ring. It's my "new" wedding band, and it's my new favorite possession! :) Here is a picture! (Ignore the fingernails...I can't seem to dedicate myself to "grooming" them!!)

And, for what's been going on in the lives of the Newberry clan :

We're finally all well. Zoe seems to have miraculously escaped the virus! How? I have no clue, because the rest of us were SO SICK!! Nursing school is great....my clinical site is fabulous, and I feel like I'm doing what I was put here to do. I've always felt that I was destined to be a mother....and I keep hearing that takig care of patients is like being their mother..."that's why they call it 'nursing'!" Hehe...appropriate for me, now :)

How's the weight loss? Going well I think....I'm TWO SIZES smaller than I was a year ago...granted, I was 3.5 mos pregnant with Zoe then, but still....I'm TWO SIZES smaller than I was two years ago, too! :) I feel good, and I'm "getting there" on the body image thing. There are some things I want to fix...and I will, but it'll be a matter of time. As of today my grand total weight loss since January (well, really since late April) is : 33 lbs!!! I can't believe it sometimes....so, does anyone know of a good plastic surgeon? :P

And, Daniel and Zoe...there have never been better children on the face of the planet. I'm serious. Daniel convinced me to let him "hold" Zoe the other day....here's a great picture of that event :

Best Mother's day gift.....EVER!!!!!!! :

THE BUG.....

Daniel's got it. Michael's got it (really badly, I might add). And I've got it...sort of. Daniel has woken up every morning since last Wednesday with either vomiting or diarrhea, or (like today) both. Michael fell ill very suddenly last night. I've had diarrhea today. Zoe had diarrhea yesterday, but just once. This is a sick little household. apparently, there is a really nasty virus going around and we all caught some degree of it....good for us, huh?

NICU Reunion....what a great thing!

The NICU reunion was awesome! We are so very Blessed that little Zoe is healthy! These kiddos are precious and so sweet! It was really neat to see everyone there, and it was particularly nice to see her nurses again. It really hit home just how lucky we were that Zoe was born with such a treatable issue and that she's 100% healthy and normal today! A lot of these kiddos are alive and that's what their parents are thankful for. It's sad/happy and it's neat to see the nurses interact with patients who are so much older now! Here are some of our nurses :









This is "Day Janet" : she had Zoe 2 days --

This is Fay, she was one of our favorites!! She only had to stick Zoe one time to get a successful IV started!

And this is Wendy, she was Zoe's nurse the most, and she was our favorite too. Congratulations to her because she just finished getting her RN!

How did YOU get here?

Have you ever looked at your children and wondered, "how did YOU get here?" I don't mean that in a negative way, by any stretch of the imagination! But, seriously....it feels like I turned around one day and here I am at 26 with two kids and a husband! Let me clarify that : 2 beautiful, fabulous, wonderful, gorgeous, well-behaved kids and a phenomenal, loving, exquisite, perfect husband. These three people are the lights of my life. They are, in a nutshell, my reasons for existing. But how in the world did they get here?!?!?! It seems like only yesterday I was 16 and excited to be driving. The world was my oyster, I was loving life and being young and carefree. I was playing sports, I was healthy, I was making OK decisions for myself. I wasn't allowed to make any that could turn out to be too detrimental to my future, though, so there was a certain safety net there. But now here I am, 10 years later (OH MY GOODNESS!!!!) and I HATE driving (especially at night and in the rain), the world is still my oyster, but now it's on the half shell; I love life but I'm not very young nor am I carefree. I don't get to play any sports right now (too bad because I LOVE playing softball!) but I do work out, I'm working on the whole "healthy" thing again, and I really need some help in the making good decisions department. The decisions I make today affect not only me, but my husband and children as well. So I'm striving to make the best ones I can, from here on out.

Before anyone thinks this is a negative post, it's not...let me assure you. I am quite happy with the way my life is going, I just don't know where these gorgeous people came from or how I deserved them to be in my life. But I sure am glad they're in it!!!! :)

Tomorrow from 1-4 is the Cook's NICU Reunion. I'm taking Zoe, but leaving Daniel with a grandma. I am so excited! I cannot wait to show Zoe off to the nurses who cared for her back in October. She's come such a tremendous way from where she started, and I can't wait to show people that. She's so precious and I'm excited!

I'll post pictures tomorrow as well as a "review" of the festitvities!

"here Zoe...."

In the long line of things Daniel offers to Zoe, throws in her direction, or decides that she "needs," we can add the most bizarre of all. See, Daniel will chunk a pacifier at Zoe when she's crying and say "here Zoe...fire!" Or he'll point at a pacifier, or he'll bring me a pacifier, anything to basically say "hey mom, would you make her be quiet please?" OK so here goes...he takes her toys, too....both hers and his. It's sweet really. So just a second ago Zoe is playing in her exersaucer having just gotten full at Mom's. :) She wasn't hungry, she wasn't crying, she was just happily playing. Daniel walks up to her, pulls up his shirt and says "Here Zoe, MILK!!!" Oh man, did I burst out laughing!! He is such a cut up!!

I promised him Olive Garden for dinner and he must be getting really hungry because he's asking for it. We better go wake up Daddy so we can hit the road. Just wanted to share our funny tale!!

Express Recovery

I had a run in with a nurse on the unit I was on for three weeks, so I asked to be moved. Apparently when I turned her in for having 4 infected G-tubes and neglected patients, I shouldn't have done that. Anyway.....my instructor gave me the most awesome of assignments : the Express Recovery unit. I'm the only student down there and it's amazing! Today I did some sterile dressing changes, observed IV fluids being hung, assisted with a G-tube feed, administered medications, did fingersticks (glucose testing) and administered insulin. Among other things. It's amazing and I'm so excited to be down there!!!! I'm already making friends with the CNAs and the nurse is neato. She's hard-nosed but she's good at what she does. I have a feeling I'm gonna learn a lot from her! The CNAs are nicer down there, too. And best of all?? These people are a little sicker and it's more like a hospital....they're also trying to go home, not living there forever. So, it's a lot different.

On a different note, I lost my first patient. He was a little man I'd cared for the first week we were there. He had a rapid decline last week, and Hospice was brought in for palliative care. He began his rather rapid descent on Thursday last week. He passed away very early Monday morning. The family donated his body to science. He had a lot of "interesting" disease processes going on in his body. I suppose that's why...but he also had specified that his remains were to be given to Texas A&M, where he spent his life....graduated from there twice and served on their board. He was a neat man. It was hard to watch him dying, and even harder to watch his family...it brought back so many painful memories. But in a way, it was therapeutic. I imagine I would have felt even stronger emotions had I cared for him much longer. But my life is richer for having met him and for having the priviledge to care for him.

3 and counting....

I've lost 3 more pounds in 2 weeks! Hooray!! That's a grand total of not quite 30 since January. This exercise/diet/breastfeeding/stress thing is really working out for me! ;)

About losing weight : it's hard. I have never had a weight problem (for real, now I know this for certain) so I've never had to do the diet and exercise for your health thing. It's one of the hardest things I've done. Saying bye bye to the junk and hey there to the healthy has been hard! And I've slipped....I've let myself slip so I don't go ape one day and eat everything in sight (and 15 orders of fries from McDonalds). I've had blooming onions, I've had build your own burritos from On The Border, I've had things I shouldn't have had....but guess what, I've made up for them later. It's all about a delicate balance.

I feel better. I feel as though I look better, and that helps. I don't pay attention to the size clothes I buy, just that I can actually buy things in the "Juniors" section again. Who cares what size I'm buying if it looks good on ME? Seriously. But I still hate shopping for jeans. Why do jeans make us feel worse about our bodies than any other clothing item? Seriously. The inventor of jeans should be slapped and hugged at the same time. I think it's all in the cut. You've got your low rise, high rise, mid rise, etc. Boot cut, flare leg, cargo, boy cut, etc. Not sure what they all mean but I like a low to mid rise boot cut or flare leg jean. I like them relaxed in the hips and thighs and I prefer that they be stretchy. I'm generally easy to please where jeans are concerned...I just don't like trying them on. What fits me in one manufacturer maybe fits my right leg in another. There should be an IJS - International Jean Standard. All jeans should be required to fit the same. All sizes should be equivalent in all makes and models. JMHO

Zoe

She's a doll...a little porcelain doll. The perfect sleeper, the perfect baby!! She's happy, contented, and she always has a smile ready (if not displayed prominently across her face). Right now she's lying beside me on my bed squealing and saying "bla bla bla ma da ma!" And every now and then she lets out a sound of joy. And she's playing with her feet. It's super cute, and it just serves to make me love her more! If that's possible. She's a good baby, and Daniel is a great big brother...he's protective, loving, and gentle with her. He takes care of her and he even helps me out with her, doing things for her....he will bring her toys (of course he'll occasionally take them right back, but hey it's a start!) and he will bring her pacifier to her when she's crying. He's awesome with her and she loves him dearly. My kids are the best.

Blessings

My children are blessings
My grandmother is a blessing
My husband is a blessing
My mom is a blessing
My mother in law is a blessing
My grandmother in law is a blessing
Our health is a blessing
My ability to help other people is a blessing
My willingness to help is also a blessing
I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams!! You never realize just how blessed you truly are until you sit down and take inventory.

50....

The total number of pounds I hope to lose in a year in addition to the 20-something I've already lost. Through sensible eating schemes, and regular exercise I hope to drop the weight in record time. My goal?? To feel good about myself, sexy for my hubby, and flexible enough to start taking a dance class again. Not to mention I want to be healthy for my children, and I want to be able to chase them around and around!! So, here's to at least 20 minutes a day on the elliptical (no lower than level 12) and lifting weights at least 3 days a week. I know I can do it...besides, if I'm going to be playing Delilah..........I can't be a chubby bunny, can I?? ;) Wish me luck and say some prayers for me.....it's not going to be easy but the reward will be worth it. WELL WORTH IT.