Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I Need Your Prayers....
...for my spirit is drained and my soul is empty. I need the bolstering feeling of being washed with prayer by Righteous people, and I know that Righteous people read this blog. I don't feel like going into deep details now, nor will I ever, but suffice it to say that I cannot praise Him today. I feel abandoned, lost, and lonely. I look at my children, and know that a God who is supposed to love me a hundred million times more than I love them is allowing me to suffer in ways I would never allow my children to suffer. It is within His Almighty Power to take this all away, yet He chooses to remain silent. I have been as strong as I can, and I have broken. I am at the base of the cliffs, beaten to a bloody pulp, and drowning in the waves. I can no longer keep my head above the water, and I cry out for help. I turn my eyes upward yet there is no help coming. I have heard the line about no more than I can handle, and I find it hogwash. Nobody should be asked to bear these burdens. Yet here I am, no longer standing. I can not handle this, the yoke is too great to bear, and yet I feel that He is unwilling to take it from me. I do not know why a God who loves me would allow me to suffer continually like this, when I have given control to Him and now I am worse off than I was before. I have leaned on Everlasting Arms and I feel as though I have been dropped. God help me I do not want to feel this way. Save me, O Lord from this misery that you are witnessing. I ask all things in Your name, as you have told me to do and here I am, waiting. Wondering. Where have you gone?
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5 comments:
Praying for you right now.
The Lord will sustain you.
I say this not out of spite but out of concern for you and your family - I think you need to talk to a physician about your feelings. You are in the health care field - and you know there are great medications that can help you weather these bad times. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for your children. You talk about women seeing a physician and keeping their heart healthy - well emotional problems can be just as hard on you. While I don't really even know you, it is obvious that you are reaching out for someone or something and you feel terrible. PLEASE make life for yourself and for your children better by not ignoring your sadness and your ups and downs. You deserve it. They deserve it.
Again, I don't know anything that you are going through and barely know who you are - I just can't ignore your cry out for help - and if it offends you in some way, I am sorry.
wow well I'm certainly not clinically depressed, I am a child of God who has felt alone lately. A whole chest full of medications won't make God come nearer to me, and it won't make me feel closer to him. I believe that people who truly need meds should take them, but I'm not one of those people.
Thank you for your truly heartfelt advice though, i do appreciate it and feel your concern. Trust me, if I felt that I needed meds I'd be the first one in the drugstore!
Hey girl-sorry, I have been out of town and am just now reading this-but know that I am lifting you up into the throne room of God. I know how hard it can feel when you feel lonely and abandoned and you just cry out to Him but feel no answer.
Let's make lunch happen soon, and please call me if you ever need anyone to talk to. Love you!
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