I'm so hungry..

Well, it's official....Zoe has stopped nursing, and I'm depressed. So I started eating. A LOT. OK, not much more than I had been but it was so hard to stop. So I've decided to lose twenty pounds in ten days....we'll see how that goes. I'll let you know how the diet goes, I'm looking forward to the results but having a hard time with the diet itself!! HELP ME!!!

Confessions of a Desperate (working)Wife

It's time to confess something....this is going to be so hard, but here goes................

















.............................I'm a terrible housekeeper. For those of you who know me well, this comes as no big shocker. But to those of you with whom I am only a passing acquaintance.....I'm sorry to disappoint you. But when it comes to things of domesticity, I SUCK. There's just no getting around it. I was bad when I stayed at home, but at least then I tried. Sort of. Now? Now that I'm working too many hours a week to count? Forget it. The house is worse than ever. I do try to keep the floor swept, because Zoe is down there now and it grosses me out to think about her putting anything nasty in her mouth. But gone are the days of vacuuming the floor and mopping it three times a day with my special neato floor cleaner. I don't know what I'm going to do! We have so many clothes that I don't know what to do with them. I try to sit down and go through them, I get six or seven large black garbage bags full of clothes, I take them somewhere, I drop them off. Then when I return home I find my clothes have mated, and I have just as many as I did when I started. WHY?!?!?!?!?!?! Why, for the love of pete can't I get organized??? Why is it my lot in life to be messy? Why was I born a clutterbug? Why do I keep things obsessively, and have such a hard time throwing things away??

I'm reaching out here, so tell all your friends and neighbors to speak up...leave me some comments, please, with serious suggestions about cleaning with limited time, limited money, and limited resources for help??? And please, skip the "flylady" she doesn't work for me, I just get confused and want to punch the computer. PLEASE?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I'm desperate.....so desperate. And my family will thank you. Trust me........

What is it all worth?????

We looked into a preschool/"day care" program today....I shudder at the thought of "day care" for my children, but this was different. I suppose. Besides costing more than your average "day care" this one is close to our house, versatile, and they seem to really care about the kids they're caring for. The plus side to the cost? They aren't overrun with kids, and parents are more likely to leave sick kids at home. They're nice, and the kids both seemed to take to the people we ran into today. But what is it all worth?

Our kids' care has gone from a blessing to a chore for those involved in it. My grandmother got dragged further into it than she ever agreed to originally, and now with Michael's mom having had surgery on her wrist....she seems less than interested in resuming her care of our kids. Not only because she can't for a couple of months, but the fact of the matter is : we feel as though it's a burden to her, rather than something she offered to do. We are confused. We can't afford the care somewhere like the place we're looking into....but if our children can't be cared for here in our home by someone we know, love, and trust....then we want the best money can buy. Besides, it's only for a little while longer....right?????? Hopefully I'll get hired at one of the major hospitals and they provide child care.....so we won't have to pay for it. Until then, I guess we suck it up, take out a loan, and pay for it outright. Either way we're going to hear about it for the rest of our lives.

Disappointments and let downs....

It seems like when we least expect it we let others down, or are disappointed by something someone does to us. And with some folks it seems to happen more often than with others. Sometimes we don't expect something to happen and it does. Why does it seem like when someone we love and care about lets us down it's ten thousand times worse? I guess the answer to that is obvious.....it's because we actually care about them. And we think they should care about us too, so when they let us down (intentionally or not) it's like salt in a wound.

Dealing with the disappointments, I suppose, proves to ourselves and to others what kind of person we are....

I'm so tired, but it's worth it

I spent the entire day in the OR at Harris today. AWESOME, in one word. I was with a surgeon who happens to be an instructor at TCOM and he had two med students with him today, too. So I got the benefit of being right behind him as he did his surgeries. I LOVED IT!!! I learned all about the awesome workings of the operating suites. I very much enjoyed my rotation in there and I'm begging for another day. I desperately want to see a heart surgery now. But I helped with the count, I helped prep the patients, I helped transfer the patient from gurney to operating table and back again, then I helped transfer the patients to the PACU. Plus I learned so much! The surgeon I was with is named Dr Buchanan. If you're in need of a general surgeon, he's great!! Meticulous, caring, and well versed.

I think I'm the most exhausted I've been in a long time but it's so worth it. I'm giving these kiddos a future they would not otherwise have.....and myself and Michael too.