Friday, August 12, 2005

Moving....UGH

Well we've just about gotten our house packed (which is more than I can say for any of the other moves we've ever made!!). We have to be out of here Monday....and we're moving in with my Grandmother for 15 days until we are able to move into our new home!

Exciting? Yep.

But we've got to rent a UHaul to get our stuff to UHaul storage...then rent a UHaul from the storage to the new house. It's MUCH MUCH MUCH cheaper than hiring movers....but the catch is finding a bunch of suckers, er, I mean FRIENDS who are willing to help move! We've got help in the form of STUDENT LABOR Monday to move the stuff to storage...we're still working on lining up the help for the 30th....so far, it's just me, myself and I.....since Michael is in school already....but hopefully we'll get some answers back soon.

My back hurts from the packing, but Thank GOD it's almost over. Then two weeks of relaxation before moving again. This time, though, I'll have lots of help unpacking. Michael has been tremendous help packing, and we hope to finish tomorrow and spend Sunday sparkling up our house.

Now if only the yard guys had kept their appointment today....we'd be all set. I am so angry. I called them and he assured me they'd be here today around 4. Here it is, 10 pm, and he hasn't called. I guess I just have to scramble to find someone who can do it on such short notice tomorrow...or at the very latest, MONDAY, which is cutting it SOOOO close!!

Ah well, it'll all work out....:) It always does...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Pregnancy Ills

Went to the DR today. My blood pressure was up. 124/86. She's not happy about that (*she being Dr Motley*), NOR was she at all thrilled with the ENORMOUS weight gain in two weeks (or one day, if the scales at 24 hour fitness can be trusted). I'm swollen in my legs/feet and hands.

All of this to say : she is afraid I am developing pre-eclampsia. Which means if I do have it, then I will be put on bed rest (YUCK) until the baby is mature enough to have a c-section and deliver her. However, if I have it and bed rest doesn't work she'll put me in the hospital (Harris Downtown) and they'll monitor the baby for 2 weeks and then do a c-section, giving her as much time on the inside as possible, and pumping her full of steroids.

I've just been praying that I don't have it. That I'm just getting fat. That I'm just stressed about the move and the baby. I don't think I am one of those women who is strong enough to survive bed rest and a premature infant.

Wednesday, August 3, 2005

The Great Mouse Chase...

So, Michael and I spent 2 hours cleaning our bedroom and master bathroom and packing those two rooms up....in the master bathroom we run across a little grey field mouse who has taken up residency in our closet. (S)he has made quite a little nest in there, shredding things and pooping.

Well, we scared the little mouse out and it ran into the bedroom....where we chased it for roughly half an hour before we gave up, locked the dogs in there with it and headed to the store to get some traps. I feel badly for it, because I know it's scared to death. But I don't understand how it's still even here! We have peppermint oil, traps, and even one of those electronic pest repellants that plug into an outlet. Nothing. Zip. Nada. The poor mouse is still trapped in our closet, and now devices of death await its every move.

Plus it's put holes in the closet walls. Not the cartoon-ish holes like you see when you watch "Tom & Jerry," but real mouse holes...tiny and close to the ground. I'm just glad we're moving. It destroyed some antique quilts which upset me more than any of the other things it destroyed.

*SHUDDER* ick!

Tuesday, August 2, 2005

Questions...

I've always been inquisitive by nature. I think my first word MUST have been "Why?" I've always wanted to know how things work, where they come from, why they exist, etc. The same is true of my relationship with God.

I have always questioned God, in what I feel is a healthy way. I know it's healthy, because my questioning always leads me closer to God, rather than further away from Him. I study His word, I study other peoples' words about His Word, and I deduce using my own God-given brain power what must surely have been meant by those words. I listen to men and women who are wiser than me. I ask questions of people who are different than me. I listen to honest responses from people who do not believe there even is a God. I do my best to live my life by example, rather than cramming Christianity down the throats of those who do not believe. I've always been taught, and have always believed, that it is better to live by example than by mere words. After all, how many times have we been told that our "Actions speak louder than words?"

My most recent inquisitive streak has led me straight into the heart of something fearful. Something horrible. Something dark, and mysterious. And I cannot seem to find an answer. Let me rephrase that, I cannot seem to find a CLEAR answer. Anywhere. And I'm at a loss.

This search is : HELL. Does it exist? Who goes there? Why does Hell exist? If Jesus came to bring Salvation to the World because God wants all of His children to return to Him, then why is there such a place as Hell? Is Satan real? And by this, I mean : is Satan some little red demon with a pitchfork and spiky tail? Or does Satan simply refer to the bad things in this world, the "evil" that does exist?

I've run across an interesting branch of Christian Theology, which has been deemed "Unorthodox" by a number of mainline Christians. This is known as Universalism. And you know what, when I began reading more about Universalism and talking to people who consider themselves Universalist Christians, I realized that this philosophy is in direct line with what I have always believed.

But you know what, I'm not sure where my Denomination lies on the subject of Hell. I have never once, in almost 10 years, heard a "hellfire and brimstone" sermon from the Pulpit. I heard plenty growing up, and know that the Churches I visited and grew up in throughout my childhood believed there sure is such a place as Hell and I was gonna go there if I didn't do ___________.

I've searched the Bible. I find passages which relate to Hell, or some sort of place like Hell. But I also find passages that state how much God loves us, and how much He wants us to be with Him. The greatest verse of all, John 3:16, sums it up quite nicely. "For God so loved THE WORLD...." not a little group of people, but the WORLD. This tells me He wants everyone to come to Him.

Where my confusion lies is : does He want everyone to come to Him NOW? Or does He know that (as the writer of Revelation states) "every knee will bow, every tongue confess..." eventually, everyone WILL know Him. So, does Hell exist? Or does everyone get a second chance, even after they die, to believe wholly in Jesus Christ?

Don't get me wrong, I've searched and searched and searched my whole life, and I have never (nor will I ever) turn from God. I have some pretty wacky ideas, which I would be happy to share with you if you ask, but I KNOW Jesus was the Son of God, I KNOW He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I just don't know if there is a Hell or not. And I'm confused because part of me wants there to NOT be a Hell, or if there is then it is a temporary one and eventually all the people who are there now will be resurrected into Heaven. But part of me thinks there really ought to be a Hell, reserved only for the most vile of people. Adolf Hitler comes to mind, in fact. Perhaps there is a Hell, reserved only for those who reject Him even in death. Perhaps those who are so offended by His Goodness, that they would rather be tortured for Eternity than confess His name. Satan and his minions, for starters.

I just don't know that this search will ever be complete while I'm still on the earth. It's just too deep, and we haven't enough information from the BIG GUY to make a call ourselves. Perhaps it's a bit altruistic of me to believe that everyone gets the chance to go to Heaven....but I don't care. There are people who are innately good people, they are just a bit misguided.

Or how about Jewish people? There are some of the Jewish Faith that I cannot imagine NOT seeing in Heaven. Or what about Ghandi? Surely a man as good as he was is in Heaven, even if he wasn't a Christian?