NICU Reunion....what a great thing!

The NICU reunion was awesome! We are so very Blessed that little Zoe is healthy! These kiddos are precious and so sweet! It was really neat to see everyone there, and it was particularly nice to see her nurses again. It really hit home just how lucky we were that Zoe was born with such a treatable issue and that she's 100% healthy and normal today! A lot of these kiddos are alive and that's what their parents are thankful for. It's sad/happy and it's neat to see the nurses interact with patients who are so much older now! Here are some of our nurses :









This is "Day Janet" : she had Zoe 2 days --

This is Fay, she was one of our favorites!! She only had to stick Zoe one time to get a successful IV started!

And this is Wendy, she was Zoe's nurse the most, and she was our favorite too. Congratulations to her because she just finished getting her RN!

How did YOU get here?

Have you ever looked at your children and wondered, "how did YOU get here?" I don't mean that in a negative way, by any stretch of the imagination! But, seriously....it feels like I turned around one day and here I am at 26 with two kids and a husband! Let me clarify that : 2 beautiful, fabulous, wonderful, gorgeous, well-behaved kids and a phenomenal, loving, exquisite, perfect husband. These three people are the lights of my life. They are, in a nutshell, my reasons for existing. But how in the world did they get here?!?!?! It seems like only yesterday I was 16 and excited to be driving. The world was my oyster, I was loving life and being young and carefree. I was playing sports, I was healthy, I was making OK decisions for myself. I wasn't allowed to make any that could turn out to be too detrimental to my future, though, so there was a certain safety net there. But now here I am, 10 years later (OH MY GOODNESS!!!!) and I HATE driving (especially at night and in the rain), the world is still my oyster, but now it's on the half shell; I love life but I'm not very young nor am I carefree. I don't get to play any sports right now (too bad because I LOVE playing softball!) but I do work out, I'm working on the whole "healthy" thing again, and I really need some help in the making good decisions department. The decisions I make today affect not only me, but my husband and children as well. So I'm striving to make the best ones I can, from here on out.

Before anyone thinks this is a negative post, it's not...let me assure you. I am quite happy with the way my life is going, I just don't know where these gorgeous people came from or how I deserved them to be in my life. But I sure am glad they're in it!!!! :)

Tomorrow from 1-4 is the Cook's NICU Reunion. I'm taking Zoe, but leaving Daniel with a grandma. I am so excited! I cannot wait to show Zoe off to the nurses who cared for her back in October. She's come such a tremendous way from where she started, and I can't wait to show people that. She's so precious and I'm excited!

I'll post pictures tomorrow as well as a "review" of the festitvities!

"here Zoe...."

In the long line of things Daniel offers to Zoe, throws in her direction, or decides that she "needs," we can add the most bizarre of all. See, Daniel will chunk a pacifier at Zoe when she's crying and say "here Zoe...fire!" Or he'll point at a pacifier, or he'll bring me a pacifier, anything to basically say "hey mom, would you make her be quiet please?" OK so here goes...he takes her toys, too....both hers and his. It's sweet really. So just a second ago Zoe is playing in her exersaucer having just gotten full at Mom's. :) She wasn't hungry, she wasn't crying, she was just happily playing. Daniel walks up to her, pulls up his shirt and says "Here Zoe, MILK!!!" Oh man, did I burst out laughing!! He is such a cut up!!

I promised him Olive Garden for dinner and he must be getting really hungry because he's asking for it. We better go wake up Daddy so we can hit the road. Just wanted to share our funny tale!!

Express Recovery

I had a run in with a nurse on the unit I was on for three weeks, so I asked to be moved. Apparently when I turned her in for having 4 infected G-tubes and neglected patients, I shouldn't have done that. Anyway.....my instructor gave me the most awesome of assignments : the Express Recovery unit. I'm the only student down there and it's amazing! Today I did some sterile dressing changes, observed IV fluids being hung, assisted with a G-tube feed, administered medications, did fingersticks (glucose testing) and administered insulin. Among other things. It's amazing and I'm so excited to be down there!!!! I'm already making friends with the CNAs and the nurse is neato. She's hard-nosed but she's good at what she does. I have a feeling I'm gonna learn a lot from her! The CNAs are nicer down there, too. And best of all?? These people are a little sicker and it's more like a hospital....they're also trying to go home, not living there forever. So, it's a lot different.

On a different note, I lost my first patient. He was a little man I'd cared for the first week we were there. He had a rapid decline last week, and Hospice was brought in for palliative care. He began his rather rapid descent on Thursday last week. He passed away very early Monday morning. The family donated his body to science. He had a lot of "interesting" disease processes going on in his body. I suppose that's why...but he also had specified that his remains were to be given to Texas A&M, where he spent his life....graduated from there twice and served on their board. He was a neat man. It was hard to watch him dying, and even harder to watch his family...it brought back so many painful memories. But in a way, it was therapeutic. I imagine I would have felt even stronger emotions had I cared for him much longer. But my life is richer for having met him and for having the priviledge to care for him.

3 and counting....

I've lost 3 more pounds in 2 weeks! Hooray!! That's a grand total of not quite 30 since January. This exercise/diet/breastfeeding/stress thing is really working out for me! ;)

About losing weight : it's hard. I have never had a weight problem (for real, now I know this for certain) so I've never had to do the diet and exercise for your health thing. It's one of the hardest things I've done. Saying bye bye to the junk and hey there to the healthy has been hard! And I've slipped....I've let myself slip so I don't go ape one day and eat everything in sight (and 15 orders of fries from McDonalds). I've had blooming onions, I've had build your own burritos from On The Border, I've had things I shouldn't have had....but guess what, I've made up for them later. It's all about a delicate balance.

I feel better. I feel as though I look better, and that helps. I don't pay attention to the size clothes I buy, just that I can actually buy things in the "Juniors" section again. Who cares what size I'm buying if it looks good on ME? Seriously. But I still hate shopping for jeans. Why do jeans make us feel worse about our bodies than any other clothing item? Seriously. The inventor of jeans should be slapped and hugged at the same time. I think it's all in the cut. You've got your low rise, high rise, mid rise, etc. Boot cut, flare leg, cargo, boy cut, etc. Not sure what they all mean but I like a low to mid rise boot cut or flare leg jean. I like them relaxed in the hips and thighs and I prefer that they be stretchy. I'm generally easy to please where jeans are concerned...I just don't like trying them on. What fits me in one manufacturer maybe fits my right leg in another. There should be an IJS - International Jean Standard. All jeans should be required to fit the same. All sizes should be equivalent in all makes and models. JMHO

Zoe

She's a doll...a little porcelain doll. The perfect sleeper, the perfect baby!! She's happy, contented, and she always has a smile ready (if not displayed prominently across her face). Right now she's lying beside me on my bed squealing and saying "bla bla bla ma da ma!" And every now and then she lets out a sound of joy. And she's playing with her feet. It's super cute, and it just serves to make me love her more! If that's possible. She's a good baby, and Daniel is a great big brother...he's protective, loving, and gentle with her. He takes care of her and he even helps me out with her, doing things for her....he will bring her toys (of course he'll occasionally take them right back, but hey it's a start!) and he will bring her pacifier to her when she's crying. He's awesome with her and she loves him dearly. My kids are the best.

Blessings

My children are blessings
My grandmother is a blessing
My husband is a blessing
My mom is a blessing
My mother in law is a blessing
My grandmother in law is a blessing
Our health is a blessing
My ability to help other people is a blessing
My willingness to help is also a blessing
I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams!! You never realize just how blessed you truly are until you sit down and take inventory.

50....

The total number of pounds I hope to lose in a year in addition to the 20-something I've already lost. Through sensible eating schemes, and regular exercise I hope to drop the weight in record time. My goal?? To feel good about myself, sexy for my hubby, and flexible enough to start taking a dance class again. Not to mention I want to be healthy for my children, and I want to be able to chase them around and around!! So, here's to at least 20 minutes a day on the elliptical (no lower than level 12) and lifting weights at least 3 days a week. I know I can do it...besides, if I'm going to be playing Delilah..........I can't be a chubby bunny, can I?? ;) Wish me luck and say some prayers for me.....it's not going to be easy but the reward will be worth it. WELL WORTH IT.

Happy Easter!!!!

Easter used to make me so sad when I was a kid. It was so hard to see the joy! As an adult, I have come to realize how truly Joyous Easter actually is. But it's a double-edged sword....because of human nature/questioning God, we were in need of a Saviour. The cruel and painful way Jesus died brings me to tears every time I think of it. But I have learned, since "growing up," that without the pain of the cross the Resurrection would have meant nothing to the people at the time. When we performed Jesus Christ, Superstar at TCU we "modernized" it...to the point that Jesus was not crucified, rather he was put to death by lethal injection. The result? A peaceful, pain-free death...as opposite from the truth of crucifixion as you can get. It bothered me at the time, and it bothers me today. After all, the purpose of the crucifixion was to take the pain and shame of sin, and allow us to have Eternal Life. How awesome...and yet how sad that humanity necessitated its own salvation. But God didn't have to do it, He just did.

Today was a good day....some pics :

Daddy & his girl :

2 sharp dressed men :

Mom & the kids :

The fam :

My thoughts on nursing school....

To those of you who read my blog, I'd like to give a big shout out. I know you've been thinking and praying for me since I started Nursing School (and before, too, I know). I'm not going to lie to you folks, it's HARD. It's the hardest thing I've EVER DONE...and I've given birth to two children. There are those who actually have the gall to look down their nose at me! Can you believe it? I get the "you know, one more year and you'd be a real nurse" looks and comments from people. A REAL NURSE?!?! Please, someone tell me what's more real than spending 12 hours a day up to your elbows in other peoples' sorrows? Can you? I didn't think so. So, in December I'll take the NCLEX-PN. Because you took the NCLEX-RN does that make you better than me? Not in my eyes. But hey, if it makes you feel better then go right ahead. I know how hard I'm working. I know what I'm learning. I know who I'm doing it for. And it ain't for you, buster, so keep on a-movin'. I love my work. It's rewarding and I get to help people all day long. Right now I'm working in the most depressing environment, but at least I'm making a difference. The people I am caring for have no one else. There are circumstances beyond their control which makes it impossible for them to live on their own any longer. They are sick, in many cases too sick to be home with children who actually want them there! Some, believe it or not, are there by choice. They KNOW they're too sick to be on their own so they actually asked their loved ones to put them there. I admire that. It takes a lot to say, "hey I can't do this anymore and I need help." What if we all did that now and then? The world would be a lot better place for everyone who lives in it if we did.

As to being a "real" nurse....when I get my LVN the L stands for "license," and according to the State.....that makes me "real." But, in case you were wondering -- I don't plan on stopping there. No, I plan on going on to my BSN (and, along with that, my RN), and eventually my MSN because I want to become a Nurse Practitioner and you can only do that with an MSN or a PhD. But, for your information, I am confident in my ability to care for people and I know I could stop at "just" my LVN and be content. But unfortunately perception is everything, and I refuse to allow someone to hold me back because I lack the alphabet behind my name....so, alphabet soup here I come!

***DISCLAIMER : this post is not directed at anyone who regularly reads my blog (that I know of), and it's not meant to make anybody mad at me....I'm just tired of the backwards glances I get from people I know and it needs to stop. There is a letter in common in both RN and LVN, and it stands for "Nurse," so why can't we all just NURSE????***

A New Bed.....

Daniel was fortunate enough to receive a really awesome CAR BED!!! He calls it his "truck" and says he wants to "drive." He hasn't slept in it yet, because he won't stay in it and he's not quite ready (OK, Mom and Dad aren't quite ready yet either)....but here are some super cute pics of him in that car bed!!

He even convinced Daddy to join him in it, testing the weight limit of 50 lbs!! ;)

My Lover, My Husband

I met Michael at Church when I was 16. Within two dates, I knew I was in love with him. He claims that he doesn't know when he first knew he was in love with me, but in his estimation it was "pretty quick." In July that will have been 10 years ago!! Can you believe it? Time flies when you're having fun. During these ten years we've had our ups and downs, we've been through the fire together and come out stronger....together. I thank God daily that I am allowed to share my life with such a wonderful man. He's talented. He's a fantastic daddy. Our children adore him, as I do, and he provides for us in the way he's "supposed" to, and in so many more ways. He works his tail off at everything he does. He's always doing little things to show me how much he loves me, and he surprises me with little niceties. I'm the luckiest person on the planet. On May 26, it will be our five year anniversary. We're going to do something really special and I can't wait. We originally had wanted to take a cruise at five years, but we've decided that will have to wait a couple more years...so the kids can go, too. Maybe ;)

Each day my love for Michael grows stronger and stronger. Every time I breathe I think of him and our children. It isn't everyone who gets to be married to the love of their life AND their best friend. I consider myself very Blessed.

Just what have the Newberries been up to??..and a little diatribe, bear with me

Well, let me fill you in.....

Level One of Nursing school....done. Finished that bad boy on March 24...with flying colors, I might add. Started Level Two Monday...first day of clinicals today at Cityview Care Center. If any of you have friends or relatives there, please tell me so I can know who they are! :)

I have strep throat. I didn't need a Dr to tell me that...it was blatantly obvious. White patches on the tonsils, feeling like I swallowed a rock, excruciating throat pain, 102 fever, yeah it was all there. I don't have insurance right now, so I had to basically call and beg my OB for a prescription for erythromycin...it's safe to take while breastfeeding. She finally did, on Tuesday, and I'm actually starting to feel less icky today. In fact, I feel almost normal. But I'm exhausted.

We spent last week doing fun things with the kids...zoo, the park, etc. Michael and I had some well deserved alone time overnight on Thursday. It was mixed....we missed the kids, but I liked the uninterrupted sleep!

We're looking forward to Easter....we're excited about the egg hunt, and I'm thrilled to introduce the Easter story to Daniel.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT,

We haven't been at Church much since Daniel turned two...why? Because, quite simply, we're scared. I'll admit it. Openly. He's hit the terrible twos. My precious "I'll eat anything" baby has given way to a toddler tirade....and a picky appetite. I'm afraid he'll act up in Church and we'll get those disapproving "take that child out of here" looks that we've gotten in the past. I don't want those looks, I can't take those looks. I can't handle those looks. And goodness, what if Zoe started to cry too? Nope. It's easier to sit here and not have to deal with feeling judged for being a bad mom (knowing full well that I'm not) , even though I know there are those who are praying for my soul right now thinking I'm a lapsed Christian. Rest assured, my relationship with God is strong as ever. He's continuously working in my life and in the lives of my loved ones...we just need some adjustment time. And I have problems with the fitting in aspect of Churches. I don't like having to feel as though we need a "niche" to fit in. My family and I have a niche....it's about to kick into high gear and we're pumped. It's VBS season, y'all. This is where we belong. I just wish we could expand it into a year long thing....doing a mini VBS each month, or each quarter....it would RULE!!

I've never been one to follow rules people like to set for me. I use words that some people think I ought not to use, I vote for the people other people think I shouldn't, I don't spank my kids, I try not to yell at my kids, I speak my mind and am open about my beliefs, and I don't allow other people (that includes my husband) to boss me around and tell me what I can and cannot do. It's just not in my nature. I am my own being, my own person. I have a brain and I use it for what God intended : to think. Should I be faulted for that? I don't think so. But there are people who do. I don't think all Christians are (or in any way should be) carbon copies of one another. After all, being diverse gives us an edge. Accepting people for who they are, for who GOD created them to be makes people more willing to listen to and accept US. After all, as Christians, we're really just auditioning to show people our paths. Do I have the right to illuminate someones path if all I'm going to show them is how judgmental it is? No. Tolerance, love, and empathy make a much more attractive pathway. IMHO, of course. In the end what matters is that our love for God and His creations guides our actions. Sure, the Bible is a great tool....I like to think of it as a hammer or a screw gun or some other tool that every person needs to survive....but it's not a substitute for the LIVING GOD. "God's word" HAS changed, it's been translated and translated and translated, and I refuse to accept the "nothing's changed" line because I'm not stupid...I can see some of the changes for myself...I can read the English. God's book's words have changed...but has God? Or is He the same as He's always been? Do we need to worship a book? Or can we just choose to worship God?

I'm about to refuse SBC For GOOD

They have lost our internet connection and we've been without it for a while now...it hopefully will be resolved, but in the meantime....know that we are all doing well and that I possibly have strep throat. Not sure where I would have gotten that, though!