Just Not Hungry

I’ve been experiencing something strange lately. It’s something I’ve not experienced since before I was pregnant with Daniel. I am NOT hungry. This is not simply because I just don’t want to eat, it’s actually something I really don’t want to do…I just do not want to eat. If I have a twinge of hunger then I eat, but it doesn’t take very much to fill me up. I’m looking back at my craving Texas de Brazil post, and even that isn’t making me hungry. It’s bothering me.

I was anorexic for a long time. I withheld food from myself on purpose. I didn’t feel like this. This is weird…it’s almost like my body feels that I’ve been stuffing it so full of food for so long now it’s just tired and wants a break! I can understand that! We’re going to eat on Saturday at Lonesome Dove…I hope I’m hungry by then.

Sometimes things smell good, and I’ll eat a bite or two. I even ate a small bowl of Bebe’s dumplings on Sunday at lunch. But today we went to Babe’s, which NORMALLY I love…the kids ate more than me!! Even Memaw ate more and that is saying something. I just got really full, really fast. It’s not scaring me…yet

Anyway I’m sure there will be an appetite in my near future. In the meantime, I guess I’ll just sit back and enjoy the money I’m saving on groceries ;)

"ARRRRRR Ladies!!"

He hasn't quite mastered the word "matey" so he says "ladies..." which is actually a lot more accurate. What a lady killer!!!

My Boodley Doodley

I love my children. They bring great joy into my life, in ways I could never have imagined. They honestly are my reason for waking up in the morning, and my reason for succeeding at what I'm trying to do. My children are my everything, they are so important to me and no matter what I always put them first. Their well being and their welfare is more important than anything else. It's amazing that someone who has been as selfish as me their entire life can become someone completely selfless (well, when it comes to my children that is). Yeah, it's pretty amazing.

But then again, my kids are amazing!


Oh yeah, and Michael ain't half bad himself ;) I'll blog later about the crap he's dealing with at school right now. UGH

"...and Zoe be a parrot"

I had really thought I'd be able to "forget" the whole pirate/parrot thing for Halloween. No such luck, though!! I made the mistake of telling Daniel, or as I like to call him "my little elephant," that he could be a pirate and Zoe could be a parrot for Halloween. He reminds me daily of the fact. In fact, he tells everyone he meets in about five seconds that he's going to be a pirate for Halloween, "and Zoe be a parrot!" So, I finally found him a cool Pirate costume and I am making Zoe's parrot costume. She's actually going to be more of an abstract parrot than a recognizable parrot. We'll see...I'm going to work on it tomorrow night when I have some time.

Michael has night time rehearsals for his fall show at school all this week. My nightly projects, while waiting for him to get home :

Tonight : clean out and reorganize the fridge/freezer
Tomorrow : he'll be home, so nothing
Wednesday : laundry, and do Zoe's costume
Thursday : homework/studying
Friday : make a yummy dinner for late night dinner and movie night with Michael when he gets home, along with my famous "adult" fruit slushies. :)

Saturday night we're taking the kiddos to Boo at the Zoo, I'm excited because we took Daniel last year, and I think he was still a wee bit too young to realize what it was all about. Then Sunday night is the Live Theatre League bowling party...Michael and I are going in period costumes. It started out as pirates, but ended up him looking more like King Charles, and I am wearing a great dress with pannes and it'll be a bear to bowl in but who cares?!?! I'm excited.

Monday I'm off school, WOO HOO and then Tuesday is Halloween. I think I'm going to take the kids with Bebe to the little township firehall festival. It'll be fun for the kiddos, especially Daniel.

I think I've killed quite a bit of time, and now I can safely bathe Daniel and he'll go on to bed without much fight since he's practically asleep beside me on the bed. Zoe's already asleep...her nap was early today so she was in bed by 6. My little wonder miracle sleeper baby!! She's the best little sleeper EVER. Daniel is getting there...we've had a little backsliding the last few days, though. He doesn't want to stay in his room if the sun is still up, so we have to deal with that. Poor little guy. I wish he'd just stay in his bed until morning! He startled me awake Sunday morning when he opened our bedroom door and came in shouting "GOOD MORNING MOMMY!!!!" What a little trickster. It's good night time for little man. I'm going to post a video of him "reading" me his story book earlier tonight. It's way too cute for words.

Daniel, The Last Year

Create Your Own!

Zoe's slide show Birthday Party Fun

Create Your Own!

What a difference a YEAR makes!!

October 12, 2005
October 12, 2006
I threw this one in because it's such a funny face!!

One year ago (yesterday, really) our lives were graced by the birth of the beautiful Zoe Elizabeth. She came into this world in distress, weighing a little over 6 pounds and today she is a wonderfully happy and extremely happy 23 pound bouncy baby girl. Well, she's not really a baby anymore but she sure is bouncy! She's 31" tall, too! She's wearing size 12 mos clothing, and she has the sweetest disposition a mom could ask for. She sleeps 12 hours during the night, and she goes to bed without complaining (much) every night. She loves her sleep!! She's the cutest little girl ever, and she LOVES to dance. She'll get up on one foot with the knee bent and the other knee underneath her, raise her arms and "conduct" while she bounces to the beat. She LOVES "The Little Mermaid," which she got for her Birthday. And we got her Cinderella too, so we'll see what she thinks about that. Daniel has a crush on the Little Mermaid...it's so cute!

She's wonderful, we're Blessed, and most important of all : SHE'S HEALTHY!!!! Thank GOD

Zoe's Birthday Party!

She enjoyed her birthday cake more than her brother did on his first birthday!! She's SO CUTE!!!! Her Birthday is Wednesday, in honor of that day I'll post more pics and a long post about her, too

Amy, John, and Emma

In August, during our clinical rotation at Harris FW I had the opportunity to take a spin in Labor & Delivery. In my time there I met some really cool nurses, and some awesome new parents. I had the even more amazing opportunity to meet John & Amy. They were first time parents who were experiencing something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Their baby girl, Emma Lucille, had been diagnosed in utero with a rare skeletal dysplasia called Thanatophoric Dwarfism. This is something MOST people have never heard of. Certainly, it’s something neither I nor my clinical instructor were familiar with. Yeah, it’s that rare. Even the neo-natologists I spoke with in the NICU after Emma’s birth were saying how rare the condition is. They called in a genetic specialist to review her charts, they ran tests, and they prayed. Yes, the people in the NICU prayed over the precious little girl in their care. I think that’s what got to me the most : their compassion. To so many people what they do is just a JOB (Just Over Broke). Even some nurses don’t seem to realize their own full responsibility. But those particular NICU nurses and those specialists DID. And man do I respect them. And one day I hope to work alongside them, and call them friend, as well as colleague. Because they are the kind of medical professionals I want to be.

Well, it turns out that little Emma was diagnosed with Osteogenesis Imperfecta Type 2 (aka “Brittle Bone Disease”). Type 2 is lethal within hours of birth. I prayed and prayed for Amy & for John. I’ve kept them right there, right in the forefront of my mind. I knew after Zoe’s birth that I wanted to be a NICU nurse. I questioned myself a little after Emma was born. Could I do this every single day? The answer? You bet your hiney I can…if I can’t, then who will?? Who will step up to the plate and care for God’s most helpless creatures? Those tiny babies NEED me, and more importantly : so do their parents. The parents DESERVE someone who cares deeply for their little baby. So yeah, I know full well I can do it…and I WILL do it. Someone asked me the other day if I thought I could “handle” it when the little ones in my care don’t make it. My response? Someone has to be there, and that someone NEEDS to be someone who will mourn their loss and comfort the parents. A NICU nurse NEEDS to be compassionate, caring, and emotionally connected to her/his patients! Without compassion and empathy, and even downright SYMPATHY you won’t make it far as a nurse ANYWHERE you choose to practice. I have a tender soft spot in my heart for sick little babies. I don’t know why, but it’s just the way GOD made me. And you know what? I wouldn’t ask Him to change it if I could!!

The coolest part of this story?? I had given Amy my email address before she left the hospital. Honestly? I didn’t think she’d ever use it, but I wanted to do something. I’ve never felt so incredibly helpless, and wondered so much what to do for someone or what to say to them to help them feel better, even though I KNEW there was nothing I could “say” or “do.” So, I gave her my email address. Knowing myself like I do, and knowing that I will ALWAYS remember Emma and her parents…and it gave me a sense of peace, just knowing that there was a way Amy could reach me if she wanted to. I didn’t really need anything more, but the last couple of weeks I’d really been hoping she’d contact me!

And do you know what? She did. A few days ago she sent me an email. I learned that they’d had a service for Emma on September 8 in South Texas. I learned so much more about them in that email, and in the subsequent emails I’ve received. I think God has placed this special family in my life as my extra motivation. God used a precious Angel to highlight my path even brighter for me…so I owe Emma and God a huge thank you. Thank you for being my guide. Thank you for lighting the way and showing me even more so what direction I should head in…I won’t let you down!


Sometimes we don’t always know WHY something is happening to us, or why things are hurting so badly. But sometimes out of that pain and confusion comes something really good. Something we can’t really see right now because maybe we’re too close to the situation. But in a distance we can…we can see what we need to see, and it makes things so much better. Hard and sad things happen, and that SUCKS. I won’t lie. It does. But when something good comes out of it the suckiness doesn’t go away, but it gets easier to handle. And the load gets a little lighter when someone is there to help shoulder the burden at times.

God Bless Amy, John, Emma, and their whole family. Nobody should ever have to go through what they went through, but the Grace and Love with which they are dealing is inspirational. Amy is a true role model for me. She is amazing, and I’m thankful for the opportunity to get to know her better.

SUPER DUPER CLEANING SECRET.....

My new cleaning secret, and I’m sharing it ONLY with YOU : shhh, don’t tell anyone. Yeah, that’s right ME, the “Queen of Clean” is sharing a cleaning secret. But I swear it works : You ready??





SCRUBBING BUBBLES. Use it EVERYWHERE. Use it to clean toilets, sinks, countertops, tables, chairs, and the biggest help to you? YOUR TILE FLOORS!! I swear. It is amazing. I have the most difficult to clean kitchen tiles known to man, and I didn’t know what a pretty color they were until now. I’ll post before and after pictures, it’s truly THAT amazing. My super helpful hint though, RINSE, RINSE, RINSE!! If you don’t rinse, you’ll slip and fall. Just like if you use it in your bathtub you have to rinse…you have to rinse it off of your floors. Use a cheap squeeze mop, spray and let those magic bubbles sit there a little bit then just wipe it up with your squeeze mop. Then rinse out your mop and wipe the floor with your wet mop. Let it air dry and you’ve got exquisitely clean floors. Better than ANY “floor mopping” product. I promise. Gee, I should do a commercial for them!

Also scrubbing bubbles work wonders on glass shower doors. Not so great on the black stuff that magically forms from week to week in between your tiles (that’s what the Bleach pen is for, though) but these bubbles are awesome. And the best part? You don’t break your back scrubbing and scrubbing your floors. If only they worked on wood floors, but alas : they don’t. Oh they pick up spots, but you still have to go over it with your regular floor cleaner. Not so for tile and linoleum too. So go ahead, grab a big can and start spraying! You’ll LOVE IT…I GUARANTEE IT!!

I swear...he slept!! What a funny kid...

My break is over…and I’m SO SAD!! But, I know it’s all good because in just three short months we’ll be DONE!! Woo Hoo! That means the next time I have a “break” I’m finished! But even more important : Monday starts our new clinical site. And I’m excited, because I really liked the vibe I got from our instructor. Besides, this level we’re SENIORS and that means we have TONS MORE RESPONSIBILITY!! Scary, exciting, and humbling all at the same time.

OK, I cannot WAIT for “Happy Feet” to come out!!! It looks fabulous. Daniel likes the other trailer better, but the “My Way” trailer is my favorite. NOVEMBER 7, BABY!!

Thanks for that little side-trip down distraction lane. Sorry. I am known for my random thought hops. But the profession I’m entering into is so humbling. Too many times now I’ve been asked how I can do some of the things I do every day. Well, it’s easy : if I don’t who will?? If I’m not there to care for, love, and clean up after these people – who will? I feel something pushing me towards Hospice care. But I just don’t feel as though I’ll be effective as a nurse in Hospice. I suppose I will NOT be shutting any doors, however. We’ll see. Wherever and whatever GOD provides I’ll do willingly. Selfish time COMPLETELY OVER…

Today we’ll go to Bebe’s house and the kids will play. I love the fact that their great-grandmothers are so involved in their lives. I love the fact that Michael’s mom and my Grandmother are able (and willing!) to watch our kiddos every day while I’m in school and Michael is teaching. Lucky? You bet your bottom line we’re lucky!!

Now for the bit of reminiscing I owe you :

Friday night was SCS’s homecoming…2006. Though it was 10 years to our Senior Year Homecoming. Anyway, not the point. I got to see a few people I’ve not seen in YEARS…and we’re talking close to 10 for some of them. It was nice. Sometimes I miss High School because our class was so small and together. Even though we picked on each other (what else do you expect from 25 totally different people?!?!) we stood up for each other against outsiders picking on anyone. Even the most outcast of the outcasts…us outcasts have to stick together, eh?? I remember going through that funk after I graduated : wondering how we could all be so close then go our separate ways and disappear from each others’ lives so easily? I think I did as well as I could to keep in touch with those I was closest to. I wish sometimes I had done a better job, but then I realize it’s NOT WORTH beating myself up over. There is history there, and if we’re meant to be friends again we will be. I’m hoping maybe those of us closest (in distance) can catch up and cross the gap. And if not, I won’t go into another funk…I’ve got it all going on for me now!! :)