Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Bandwagon

OK I'll jump on.....I get sometimes 75 or more hits a day on my blog and yet nobody EVER comments....and it's weird. I'll admit it's weird to have people reading about my life but never commenting.....and I guess the other thing is I sort of want to know who's reading it! And if I'm not writing anything interesting I need to know that too ;)

Monday, October 29, 2007

Some Fun Halloween Time Pictures!

It's sort of a Halloween tradition to go to "Boo at the Zoo" as a family....here are some pics from this year's trip! It was Zoe's first Boo at the Zoo, and she had a blast!!





A Good Time was had by all!! :)

The Definitive Article....

I am a generous soul....

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Why Do We Do It?

Why do we open ourselves up to the ultimate heartache? Why do we allow ourselves to become so wrapped up in someone that their tiniest of setbacks causes us to break down emotionally? Why is it that we seem unable to separate ourselves and our victories/losses from them and theirs? Why do we make a choice to bring a tiny, dependent, completely defenseless human being into this world? Why do we make a silent promise to that little baby to guide them, grow them, and teach them the right way to live? Why is it that some people are utterly incapable of making that commitment, yet they still bring children into this world? Why is it that you have to take special classes, pass tests, and become "licensed" before you can drive a car? But any jerk with a you-know-what can create a child...that just doesn't seem right to me.

It has become increasingly obvious to me that I am too emotional. I am driven almost solely by my emotions. I have rational thoughts, I have rational actions, and I listen to the logical side of my brain a lot. But when it comes to my family, I am a big ball of emotion. The tiniest of setbacks or defeats that my children have bring me to my knees. What am I going to do when they have true defeats? I am learning that I've got to get a grip on my emotions, get ahold of my feelings, and become a little more emotionally solid where my children are concerned. But how do I go about that?

Back to my questions of earlier : I know that I am Blessed beyond anything I could ever actually deserve. I have two healthy children, who are loving and kind. My husband and I are healthy, and we love each other, which is a big deal in this day and age. But when it comes to the opening up, voluntarily, to the possibility of being hurt....it's an awesome responsibility. I think it's unbelievable how much emotion is involved in raising a child. And the element of control is completely gone from us, and in the hands of other people. Ultimately, the control of things lies with our Heavenly Father, but being the control freak that I am I like to feel I have SOME control over some things in my life....and when you raise a child your heart is on the outside, it's right there for anyone to rip open. And you have no control over when someone breaks it. And, you realize that when your child's heart is broken, it breaks yours almost beyond repair. And some day, because people are people, our children will break our hearts. Not because they always set out to do it, but because it's human nature sometimes to do what you feel is in your best interest, and sometimes people get hurt. When you bring a child into this world, you're opening yourself up for the ultimate heartache. You're opening yourself up to someone breaking you in two on a daily basis. You become solely responsible for the well being of another human being. You take the weight of whatever troubles them onto yourself, because that's what makes a good parent. You hurt when they hurt. You cry when they cry. You rush to their aid, no matter where you are or what you're doing. Having children makes your life no longer your own. You are at someone else's beck and call. You don't realize all of this, of course, until you are face to face with that little, perfect, helpless, gorgeous person...the person you carried inside of you for nine months (or close to it), who is now outside the protection of your uterus. The person who is no longer protected from dangerous outside forces. And it is at that moment that your heart breaks for the first time. When you look into their unfocused eyes, who turn in your direction because yours is the voice they heard the most and your voice means comfort....you realize just how deeply you can love another person. And it is at that moment that you willingly relinquish the reins to your heart. You give yourself completely to that little baby, and you make promises you hope to goodness you can keep. And as that baby grows into an infant who crawls, a toddler who walks and then runs, and continues on into school years and adolescence...you pray. You pray that the things you've given them, the things you've taught them, the people you've watched them become will all be enough. That it will be enough to help them not just survive, but to prosper and to grow their own children.

So why? Why do we do it? Why do we open ourselves up on a daily basis to being hurt? Why do we take their defeats as our own, and celebrate their victories even harder than we do our own? Why do we willingly relinquish emotional control in our lives to these little bundles of energy?

Because.....nobody loves like a child. Nobody gives unconditionally of themselves like a child....Because nobody hugs like a child. Nobody's boo boos are more easily healed than a child's. Because in your child's eyes you are a hero. You can do no wrong, even when they tell you you're wrong. And we do it because without them in our lives, we would never be whole. We who are called to be parents do it because we understand that with great responsibility comes great reward. Sure, we open ourselves up to heartache....but those days of heartache might never come. And in those days where we are simply being, and loving, and joyful....life is perfect. And no matter what else is going on in our lives, when we look at our children we see true love....the real meaning of joy.....the way to live life to the fullest, each and every day. That is why we do it. Because we know that the risk is worth the reward, in more ways than one.

And we realize that without our children in our lives, the sun wouldn't shine as brightly, the rain wouldn't smell as sweet, the flowers wouldn't be quite as pretty, and the joy we feel would be significantly lessened. I believe children help the world seem less hopeless, and I love the way I feel when I look at my children.

Besides, without children who would we watch Disney movies with?

Friday, October 19, 2007

My Hunk




1. Who is your man? Michael
2. How long have you been married? 6 years, 4 months, 23 days, and 1 hour
3. How long did you date? we dated 3 years 11 months, were engaged for 11 months and 13 days, we were married May 26, 2001

4. How old is your man? 32
5. Who eats more? Michael
6. Who said "I love you" first? um, he did....right? ;)
7. Who is taller? Michael, barely
8. Who sings better? Michael....duh :) but he thinks I sing like a chorus of little birdies
9. Who is smarter? wow, that's a close one.
10. Whose temper is worse? oh wow, we're both temper powerhouses so watch out! My fuse has gotten longer since having kids, but we're both explosive personalities

11. Who does the laundry? we share that responsibility

12. Who takes out the trash? we share that responsibility, too, though I usually drag the carts to the curb
13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I do, and I'm amazed that it seems to be that way for most women.....
14. Who pays the bills? I do
15. Who is better on the computer? We are the same.
16. Who mows the lawn? I do, but when allergy season slows down Michael helps
17. Who cooks dinner? hahahahahahahaha!! Nobody much "cooks" around here right now....I work too much and michael's too busy with the kids

18. Who drives when you are together? ugh I do and I HATE driving

19. Who pays when you go out? Michael, unless I happen to have cash in my wallet, which is rare
20. Who is more stubborn? It's a tie.
21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? see above ;)
22. Whose families do you see most? mine probably

23. Who kissed who first? Michael kissed me in the Altamesa parking lot
24. Who asked who out first? he did, though I had a really lame piece of paper with my phone number ALREADY ON IT.....I was such a nerd
25. Who proposed? Michael did, it was awesome
26. Who is more sensitive? I am.
27. Who has more friends? it's probably a tie
28. Who has more siblings? We are both only children, which sucks
29. Who wears the pants in the family? we share those pants

30. Who is the biggest pushover with the kids? I don't know.....we're both stern enough when we have to be, and we're both easily pushed over too....


My husband is great y'all!!


I'm not really going to be picky and tag anyone...whoever reads this and wants to be tagged, consider yourself "tagged!"
PS it's quickly becoming that time of year for us....our annual trip to a luxury hotel....we're thinking about San Antonio anyone got ideas??? We like to go before Christmas!! :)

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Things I'm Thinking....

1. Being overtired and cranky is not something reserved just for children....

2. If neither of us had to work our lives would be complete....spending all day, every day with the kids and each other....

3. I need to clean up the backyard so that our children can play out there now that it's getting cooler

4. I wish someone would clean my house....

5. That's the thing about cleaning house, as soon as you do it....it's dirty again!

6. Why, exactly did I clean so much BEFORE Zoe's party? Now I just have dirty and crumby things to clean up again

7. "The Jungle Book" is perhaps one of the greatest movies....ever....

8. Watching "Transformers" with your almost-four-year-old boy and newly turned two year old girl is awesome....they LOVE that movie, and neither one is scared

9. Zoe makes a great "Optus pie" and so does Daniel

10. It tickles me that all four of us cried out "look it's bobbybee!" today when a yellow camaro with black racing stripes passed us on the freeway....

11. It cracked me up that the black and yellow poison dart frog at the zoo was instantly crowned "bobbybee" by Zoe....

12. Buying Zoo memberships was the best idea, because it gives us a free place to take the kids where they can learn, have fun, and get tired all at the same time!

13. I need to take the kids outside more

14. I wish we lived in a different neighborhood

15. I wish we had sidewalks in this neighborhood

16. I wish the duck pond was right across the street

17. Black Forest Cake from Swiss Pastry Shoppe rules

18. I want another baby....

19. ...but I don't want to be pregnant again because what it does to my body is NOT pretty

20. I can't believe that Dr didn't call me back today

21. I can't wait to have my elective surgeries :)

22. I wish I'd never colored my hair, because now it feels so unhealthy

23. I wish I had the ability to wake up early enough every day to do my make up and fix my hair, but I suck at that....maybe I should learn

24. My wrist is killing me, and it's getting worse instead of better

25. I can't wait to take a bubble bath

26. I wonder who reads this blog

27. I miss my friends from high school....

28. ....and I miss my friends from College that I don't see anymore :(

29. I can't wait to start working on my Advanced Practice degree for nurses

30. I wish the kids could go to school again....

31. I wish I made more money so I could work fewer hours

32. I'm tired

33. I love my husband

34. Despite all the crap, my life is still better than a lot of peoples lives!

35. I have the best, cutest, adorablest kids ever

36. Even though God tests me daily, I see His Hands guiding me and that's comforting :)

37. Look ma no hands!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Today....

The temperature was low for the first time (gee it's about time!), the skies were grey and raining, I didn't feel well, and I didn't go to work. The family and I lazed around on the couches and watched movies all day long.

We got a little silly and took some pictures :




The night has turned emotional and I'm feeling sentimental. (I'd hesitate to say "hormonal" for fear of that phrase coming back to haunt me some day, but alas it's almost "that time" so I guess I AM hormonal.) I've come to terms with the fact that each day is a gift. I love the fact that these days with my children are precious, and each day should be special. But how do you find that happy balance of treating each day like the gift it is, but not becoming scary obsessed with the maudlin and depressing? How do you treat the days as presents, but not let your parenting skills suffer? Today I felt a desire to NOT discipline my children because it's just been one of those kind of days....a day where I'm aware of the fact that each day is precious and we don't know for sure we'll get tomorrow. How do you reconcile those feelings with being a responsible parent? I don't know, hopefully the days will get better soon and I won't be so emotionally on edge.
I could use prayers tomorrow....prayers for strength, healing, and GOOD NEWS

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Zoe Got Her Party On!

I went with a Teddy Bear girly theme this year...sort of a Sassy Princess theme :



Here is the table (yes, that IS a Swiss Pastry Shoppe Black Forest Cake!)



Happy Birthday to Zoe!
Sassy Princess playing the guitar


Brand New Present!



This is her "Zoe Madison" doll!



Brand new "quackie!"


"Sheep!" "Baa!!"



Party guests galore!



We had a blast, thanks to everyone who came! The cake was good, the party was fun, the presents are awesome!! The children are cute, and happy! :)



Here are some cute pics of the kids on our new couches :


playing possum!! :)

Thursday, October 11, 2007

There Are Some Things Money Can't Buy....

The day was long, but not long enough. My daughter is so stinkin' adorable, y’all! She’s getting cuter by the minute, and there’s just so much I could say about her…but I’ll stick with just a few.

She turned 2 today, and I’m sitting here wondering, “where did those 2 years go?” It seems like only yesterday I was experiencing all those fears, all those “what ifs,” and all those moments of triumph. It seems like only yesterday that she was making leaps and bounds in the NICU, it seems like only yesterday she came home, it seems like only yesterday that she was crawling, learning to talk, growing teeth in funny patterns, walking, running, adoring her big brother, and learning to say "I wud you!"

A lot has changed in these 2 years. I’ve found my true calling, and chosen my career path. Michael’s realized he wasn’t on the right career path and has veered onto what he now feels IS the right one. Our kiddos are growing, changing, and becoming more independent each day.

Since it’s Zoe’s birthday I’ll focus on her for today’s blog. She’s a cutie. She is also a pretty independent little girl. She likes to do things that her big brother does, she likes to do things before he does, and she likes to have races with her Daddy and Mommy. Zoe is a gorgeous girl. She’s got personality oozing out of every pore on her body, and I love it. She’s funny, though. She’s one of those little kiddos that knows her body has higher limits than adults. She tests those limits…every day! And she’s so cute when she does it that it’s hard to say no!


She's smart. She's gorgeous. She's got the whole world on her plate, the world is her oyster, and it's my Life's One Calling to see that things stay that way for her...no matter what.

Her party isn’t until Sunday, but we celebrated a little tonight. Daniel decided that since it was her birthday she needed a cake, so I bought her spider cupcakes and they were a HIT! Here’s a few pics of her enjoying her cupcake! (Taken with Daddy's cell phone camera....our digital's battery pooped out on us and it's charging right now!)







And, Zoe one year ago :




And, Zoe two years ago...these are pics of her in the progressive care unit, I do not want to post the NICU pics of her this year.... (if you’d like to see her story from her birth, click here) :


We’re Blessed beyond measure, and events that have occurred the last two days have pointed that out in stark detail to me. It’s evident to me what those Mastercard folks are talking about…


Happy Birthday to You, Zoe-Pie!

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Call Me Martha...Well, OK Not Really....

I have become enthralled with the world of stamping. Stamping, scrapping (in frames to display), being crafty. I love it. I never knew just how crafty my little brain was until this week! I had a blast stamping Zoe's birthday invites, and last night I made her thank you cards in advance and hand embellished them. It's the PERFECT outlet for my OCD and it's fabulous. I can see myself becoming quite obsessed with this stuff....now all I need is a fully stocked scrapbooking, stamping, craft cabinet and I'll be all set!!


The kids apparently love it too. We stumbled into Michael's MJDesigns today and discovered their "Great Pumpkin" event! We just bought two of their artificial pumpkins and the kiddos got to decorate them for free! And I discovered "Tiny Tots," which is a $2 class for them to get crafty in...and I can't wait for Thursday now!! It's someone else's place that the kids get to mess up and I don't have to clean it up!! I am so excited!!
Here are their pumpkins (dragon/crazy thing and princess) :




And, in world art news....can you belive this??

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Best Things to Do In The Tub (In No Particular Order)...

1. Read -- any book will do, but a mystery or thriller works best
2. Watch full episodes of ABC or CBS shows (thank you laptop and wireless internet!)
3. Pretend you're a mermaid (hello throwback to 1990)
4. Sink below the water and listen to the silence
5. Blog
6. Surf the Internet
7. Watch a movie
8. "Adult" things ;)
9. Light a bunch of candles, turn on your iPod speaker system, and chillax *hee hee*
10. Have a good, cleansing cry

Friday, October 5, 2007

Great, just great.....

Verizon service down



By DAVID WETHE
dwethe@star-telegram.com


Verizon Wireless is reporting that there is a network outage with its cellphone service.
It was unclear as of Friday afternoon how widespread the outage is, company spokesman Jimmy Duval said.
Engineers are working to correct the problem, he said. The problem was discovered at around 3 p.m., he said.
This story is developing. Check back for details
David Wethe, 817-685-3803

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

How sad is it....

When you're faced with the lesser of two evils, and it's THIS????


do they have ANY hope for normal lives??

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

:)

this turtle was obsessed with my children (at the Zoo)

cutest things EVER