Grandparents.......a reflection

I never met my Paternal Grandparents. But, from what I've heard I wouldn't have liked them very much. My Paternal Grandmother was a hard woman, she was hard to please and she was hard on those she loved. All I know is they never made an effort to visit me while I was growing up, therefore I was never exposed to them and their world.

But my Maternal Grandparents....now there is a horse of a different color. I was actually raised by them. Not because of a tragic passing of my parents, but because circumstances dictated that I would be better off living with them. What an adventure.

Every summer, without fail, we would take a family vacation. Most times the trip would be to California. And we nearly always drove. My Papa hated to fly, so he avoided it whenever possible. (I suppose that is where I get my need to be in control at all times -- from Papa.) But one summer we went to South Dakota. I LOVED South Dakota. I'm not really sure how old I was, but I remember that we stopped at a Mammoth dig (it was in a museum, I believe) and I wanted so badly to return and work there when I was old enough! We went on to Mount Rushmore, saw the Black Hills, and panned for gold! We even saw Crazy Horse Monument in it's REALLY early stages. (We have a picture of a sign that says "to be completed 1997" -- what is so funny is it wasn't completed in 1997 and it isn't completed now!) I had the best time ever on that trip. I vow to take my own family up there and experience it together. My Papa and I had always wanted to return to see Crazy Horse when it was finished.

My Great-Grandparents (Memaw's parents) were second Grandparents to me. They lived in San Diego with pretty much the rest of our family. We stayed with them each summer when we were out there. I have such wonderful memories of their quaint little house in the mountains of Harbison Canyon (just outside El Cajon). I never had a bad time in California, and I have them to thank for that. They taught me what family means, by showing me that it's more than just a name. They showed me how to love unconditionally and whoever I am today is because of the influence they had on my life. They were both very Godly people, who attended Church regularly, and devoted a certain time each morning to a devotional together. What amazing, amazing people.

And it is true what they say, that you never realize what you have until it is gone. For me, when Mary Carnelia Loftis (my great-grandmother) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's (it was shortly after the passing of my great-grandfather, Ishmael Worth (I.W.) Loftis in August 1998), it shook the family's world. But my uncles Farrell and Stanley each shouldered the responsibility, once Grandmommy was no longer able to live on her own, of caring for her in their own homes. Eventually she went to a nursing facility in Lemon Grove, California where she passed away one morning in January 2003. She was 92, I believe. My Grandpapa, when he died, was in his 80's and fell off of the roof he was working on and broke his back. He died from complications resulting from that fall and subsequent pneumonia. I miss them both so much, but treasure the thought that one day I will be reunited with them, and we will never part again.

My Papa died February 26, 2002 -- 9 months to the day after he gave my hand in marriage to Michael. At the end of May 2003, Memaw and I had to put Prince (our dachshund who lived to be 17) down. That same month, Michael and I found out we were expecting our first child. Daniel Kenneth was born February 12, 2004. We gave him my Papa's name as his middle name, to honor the man who brought so much joy into my life. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about him, and the things he taught me to do. He taught me to shoot a shotgun, a rifle, a pistol, and he taught me all about gun safety. He taught me to drive his 1982 Ford Bronco. He taught me the importance of sitting on a tailgate with family and friends, sharing a cold drink and telling stories. He taught me that you don't have to tell someone you love them for them to know that they do. He taught me that you never judge a book by its cover. He taught me the importance of keeping sharp knives on hand, and how to handle them safely. He showed me the true value of friendship. He taught me about loyalty. He taught me that a man's word is his bond. He taught me that it is important to keep up with your car's maintenance (and why). He showed me the fun there can be in spitting watermelon seeds at your Memaw. He showed me that even putting a TV stand together can bring a family closer. I sure to miss him. Every single day, every time I am with Daniel I miss my Papa. I wish I could have seen the moments they would have had together.

Everything I am and have today I owe to my Grandparents. I pray fervently that God will allow my Memaw to remain here with us for years and years and years. I want my children to KNOW this phenomenal woman I have come to treasure. But more on her later!